And Where is He Now?
"My husband just died," 'Diane' is saying. "And I feel strange. I feel confused. I need your help."
This is my first Phone Reading with Diane and my mind is laser pointed into her and her situation.
"He wasn't feeling well" she says, "and then he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He died, 3 weeks later."
She sighs.
"We were married 15 years but we had separated several times. He was the one who always left. But, we have been totally together for quite awhile now and everything was good."
She's crying now.
"I'm so confused. I'm shocked, I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm grieving, I hate him."
She pauses for a moment then says, " Because now, suddenly I'm finding out about all his other women! He was finding women on the net and he was into pornography! I didn't know about any of this until I had to start cleaning up his things. I'm so upset, Venus. Did he ever really love me? I don't know if I should mourn or hate him!"
As she cries I'm thinking about this. Here's a woman who's been thinking she has a happy marriage, she loves the man and he loves her and now she finds there's a long trail of women and lies and betrayals from him. And, to make it worse, he's not here to confront, nor can she ask him questions or get answers or scream and beat on him. He's just gone and she's left with the mess.
"I feel so confused and lost and numb, Venus. Can you help me?"
Well sure, I'll give it a try!
I look for the husband that we will call Howard. He's easy to find. He's close to the earth and close to his wife. He's in emotional turmoil and agony. He looks like he's twirling around in the air.
"So what's this all about?" I ask him. "What is this other life you had going? And why?"
Howard is confused."I didn't know what I was doing," he says. "I was unconscious in life. I just wasn't awake. I didn't think about what I was doing. I just did it because I could."
He's clearly sorry now. He sees the destruction he's left behind. But, it's too late. He can't clean it up. He can't stop doing what he did. All his options are over. He's dead.
We talk some more but he's not too reachable as he is lost in the despair of what he has done for reasons he can't fathom.
He's hard to talk to because he's so distraught he isn't making much sense.
I spend most of the time talking to Diane and giving her advice while trying to help her understand that her husband did a lot of things without thinking them through.
As we close the session, Howard shouts desperately toward Diane, "I Love You!!!" Then it's like a wind picks him up and puffs him away.
Later, Diane sends me an email:
"Thank you for today Venus! I feel such a sense of calmness now, incredible. So happy you understood my situation and found out what was going on around me! I am not going to focus on negative items that surface around me. As soon as I hung up with you my girlfriend from childhood called me and we are going to make plans to get away for a few days, just like you had suggested.... Diane xoxoxo"
A month later, I do another phone session with Diane.
She's distressed. People he worked with where she works, are telling her all kinds of things about women in his life, naming names, acts and circumstances.
"Why would they do this", she asks me.
"They are unconscious people," I say. "Like your husband was. Turn your back on them when they try and tell you things. Tell them not to talk to you about these things. Don't worry about hurting their feelings. Apparently, they don't have any!"
"It's strange, Venus, I keep finding 2012 pennies in unusual places. The number 12 meant something to my husband. He didn't like the number12. If the clock had any 12 in it, like 5:12, he would not get out of the car or move or do anything at all for that minute. And, do you know, he got a call about his test results with the cancer at 3:12 and then he died on the 12th in room 12 and there were other '12's' involved, too! Do you think this means anything when I keep finding 2012 pennies, even under things?"
I do. I think he has found a way to contact Diane.
Diane is rushing on. "He put together a beautiful juke box in our hobby room. He loved that juke box.
"The other day, suddenly his prized juke box turned itself on in the house. All it's lights were buzzing and flashing and it was playing music!"
It's time for me to look for Howard on the Other Side. I call him in and the first thing he says is, "I was an asshole."
We chat a bit and then Diane and Howard chat through me as the go-between. Diane mentions that her daughter dreamed about Howard sitting in a chair where he kept looking out the window. He told her, "I don't have much time to stay. I have to go soon. I'm happy. Don't worry. Everything is alright."
Diane tells Howard that she dreamed she and he were nose to nose. She had said, 'Can i kiss you?' He said 'yes' and so she kissed him. "It was so real!" she insists.
Howard now says how sorry he is that he was unconscious in life. He apologizes for all the women and the other things.
He says, "You weren't at fault Diane, it was me."
When it comes time to end our conversation he leaves it the way he greeted us at first, by again saying, "I was an asshole."
It's kind of nice, I think, to hear your errant husband say, 'I was an asshole.' I don't think he would have said it when he was alive and it's an odd way to give a wife peace of mind and closure, but it works for Diane. And, it looks to me that they will love and get along much better now that Howard is dead. That's one way to heal a marriage.
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